Psst—you over there! Don’t be shy…orgasms are as much a part of
women’s health as dental floss—but a lot more fun. For all the things you’ve
been dying to find out as well as things you’ve never even thought of, expand
your knowledge about the “big O” with this list of enlightening facts.
1. Orgasms can relieve pain.
Got a headache? Maybe you
should have sex after all. “There is some evidence that orgasms can relieve all
kinds of pain—including pain from arthritis, pain after surgery and even pain
during childbirth,” notes Lisa Stern, RN, MSN, a nurse practitioner who works
with Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles and blogs at Gynfizz.com. “The
mechanism is largely due to the body’s release of a chemical called oxytocin
during orgasm,” she says. “Oxytocin facilitates bonding, relaxation and other
positive emotional states.” While the pain relief from orgasm is
short-lived—usually only about eight to 10 minutes—she points to past research
indicating that even thinking about sex can help alleviate pain.
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2. Condom use doesn’t affect orgasm quality.
In case
you’re wondering if a condom has anything to do with the quality of your orgasm,
don’t. “Women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom,
dispelling myths that condoms don’t make for good sex,” says Debby
Herbenick, PhD, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of
Because It Feels Good. “In fact, condoms may help a couple spend more
time having sex, as a man doesn’t have to ‘pull out’ quickly if he’s worried
about ejaculating too soon,” she says. If your guy is resistant to wearing a
condom because of lack of sensation, consider manual stimulation first, before
intercourse, so he can have an equally enjoyable experience.
3. Thirty percent of women have trouble reaching
orgasm.
If you’ve ever had trouble climaxing, you’re not alone.
According to Planned Parenthood statistics, as many as 1 in 3 women have trouble
reaching orgasm when having sex. And as many as 80 percent of women have
difficulty with orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. Clitoral stimulation
during intercourse can help, says Stern, but so can medical treatment. “Female
sexual dysfunction (FSD), which encompasses the inability to orgasm, is very
common—as high as 43 percent, according to some surveys—and has been a topic of
much debate and medical investigation lately,” she says. “For some women,
topical testosterone therapies or some oral medications can be helpful, but few
medical treatments have solid evidence behind them.” Because FSD may be
associated with certain medical conditions, be sure to see your doctor to rule
out things like thyroid disease, depression or diabetes.
4. Finding your G-spot may improve the likelihood of
orgasm.
Can you identify your G-spot? The “G” refers to Ernst
Gräfenberg, MD, a German gynecologist who is credited with “discovering” it in
the 1950s, and sex experts have long touted this area of female genitalia, which
is believed to contain a large number of nerve endings, as the key to helping
women achieve longer and stronger orgasm. But it’s a controversial topic.
Researchers in England refuted its existence recently, even after Italian
researchers supposedly found the spot on ultrasound and published their findings
in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Still, sex educators like Los
Angeles–based Ava Cadell support the existence of the G-spot, and encourage
women to find theirs. While the location may be slightly different in all women,
it’s most often found inside the vagina and is characterized by a “rougher”
texture.
5. Orgasm gets better with age.
Sure, there are plenty of
things to gripe about when it comes to age, but your sex life may actually
improve—specifically the quality and frequency of orgasm, reports Dr. Herbenick.
“Orgasm becomes easier with age,” she says. “As an example, while 61 percent of
women ages 18 to 24 experienced orgasm the last time they had sex, 65 percent of
women in their 30s did and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s did.”
Though the survey didn’t indicate why orgasms come easier with age, we can
assume that as women become more sexually experienced, they have more confidence
in the bedroom and therefore enjoy themselves more. Additionally, the trust and
intimacy that most women experience in long-term relationships can help improve
sexual confidence as well.
6. Women who mix things up in the bedroom have more frequent
orgasm.
If you have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse,
consider switching things up, says Dr. Herbenick. “It is significantly easier
for women to experience orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts as
opposed to just one act,” she says. “For example, vaginal sex plus oral sex
would be linked to a higher likelihood of orgasm than either one of them alone.
This may be because more sex acts mean that people spend more time having
sex.”
7. A woman’s sexual self-esteem can affect the quality of her
orgasms.
Research shows that how a woman feels about her genitals is
linked to the quality of her orgasms. “As a women’s health clinician, I can
vouch for the fact that every vagina looks different and there is no ‘perfect’
way for a vagina to look,” says Stern. “As long as your vagina is pain-free and
you don’t have any abnormal discharge, sores or other medical problems, you can
consider yourself healthy and normal.” Increase your orgasm potential by
increasing your confidence, she says. “It’s important to treat yourself the way
you would want others to treat you—send yourself healthy, positive messages
about yourself and your body.” Another trick: Pull out a hand mirror and take a
look! Getting to know yourself down there is the first step in feeling confident
about your parts.
8. There is an orgasm “gap.”
While it’s true that a small
number of men have trouble with orgasm, sex experts report that it’s rare.
Instead, a significant percentage of women report not having had an orgasm the
last time they had sex, even when their male partner thought they had. “We still
have an orgasm gap,” notes Dr. Herbenick. “While 85 percent of men thought their
partner had an orgasm during their most recent episode of sex, only 64 percent
of women reported having an orgasm.” The cure? It’s complicated, says Dr.
Herbenick, but women who are comfortable with and understand their body’s
pleasure points can often learn to orgasm regularly.
9. In rare cases, orgasm can happen without genital
stimulation.
We’ve all heard about women who can orgasm while
sitting on a train or while getting a massage, but it’s no urban legend. Experts
say it’s a real phenomenon. “I had a friend who had an orgasm every time she
used the treadmill,” says Stern. “If that happened to all of us, we’d be a much
more physically fit society!” But, humor aside, there’s an explanation for why
this occurs. “The reason for spontaneous orgasms during certain activities is
twofold—increased blood flow to the genitals and vibration of or contact with
the clitoris. The increased blood flow and the general relaxation of a massage
can lead to orgasm sometimes, too.”
10. For most women, it takes a while…
Many women take
longer to climax than their male partners, and that’s perfectly normal, says
Stern. In fact, according to statistics, most women require at least 20 minutes
of sexual activity to climax. “If you find that your partner often reaches
orgasm before you do, there are ways to help him slow down,” she says. “Mental
exercises can sometimes work, and so can firm pressure around the base of the
penis. If premature ejaculation is a concern, your partner may want to see a
primary care doctor or urologist to find some techniques that might
help.”
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